“Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong.” 1 Cor. 16:13 (ESV)

     In the previous articles we have looked at some qualities that must be present in order to act like a man; things like hard work, honesty and determination. If these qualities exist they will transcend into every other aspect of a man’s life; his friendships, family, marriage, parenthood, and his relationship to the Lord. Before we look at the most pressing relationships, we need to look at the overall mindset that a man should have to govern all relationships of this life. The reality of life is that we have a relationship with everyone in life. We have a relationship to our family, our friends, our enemies, the stranger we meet on the street, or any corner of life. We even have a relationship with those we do not meet. How we handle our environment, which we will leave to the next generation, is relative to others we have not met. If I care for others I have not met. therefore, I give my finances for evangelism or to help those in need.  There is a factor of relationship involved with those I have helped whether I have met them or not. There is a common bond that must bind every relationship in order to bring it to its full potential and value. It is the bond of love. After giving instruction to the church at Colossi that they should put on many things in their walk with Christ, Paul said,

           “But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection.” (Col. 3:14) 

     Even in the context of our text for acting like men in1 Cor. 16:13, we find that love is at the core of the matter as we move forward to the proceeding verse:

           “Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love.”(1 Cor. 16:13-14) 

     The fulfillment of our calling in any relationship is to maximize the potential of love in the relationship. In order to do this, love cannot be misinterpreted to be a weak and spongy form of permissive acceptance to all desires and opinions of others. Love, in the context of 1 Cor. 16:13-14, is about standing firm and being strong. We who are in the Spirit know that God is love. (1 John 4:8) True love cannot be known apart from God because He is the essence of what love is. 

     In order to fulfill our calling as men we must get a clear picture of the goal that is set before us as leaders. We are called to move every relationship in the direction of love and, therefore, of God since God is love. In order for this to happen we must see ourselves as those who are called to lead. We have to have a picture of ourselves that we are teachers to others of what love and strength are all about. If your picture of yourself is one of wisdom and guidance then you will fulfill that picture. In the description of one who is a miser, the Spirit said, 

     “…as he thinks in his heart, so he is.” (Prov. 23:7) 

      What we are in our hearts is what we will be. Our perception of what we are and what we are called to do will determine what we are and what we do. If you picture yourself as a man of wisdom and strength then you will act accordingly. If this is not your picture then you will act in foolishness and weakness which brings with it all of its attributes: selfishness, immaturity, greed, carnal anger and etc. If our goal is love, and therefore God, and our self image is of wisdom and strength, we will maximize the potential of every relationship in our lives. 

     We cannot move from this subject without expounding on wisdom. Wisdom has become a forgotten hero in society today. Arrogance has reared its ugly head as the hero of life to most people. We see it all around us. “I will do what I like to do whether others like it or not.” “I will dress how I want to dress.” “I will say what I think no matter what the consequences may be.” To many people this is a picture of strength, but in reality it is a picture of weakness as it is founded in selfishness. It is not about bringing others to a greater potential nor is it about instructing others in wisdom, but it is all about “me.” When we consider our relationships with others, our friends, family, enemies, strangers, and etc. there is no singular template of action that can be applied to every situation or person that will work. Wisdom has to devise a plan of action for each individual situation. When Jude wrote to the Christians on evangelism he said, 

     “And on some have compassion, making a distinction; but others save with fear, pulling them out of the fire, hating even the garment defiled by the flesh.” (Jude 1:22-23)

     In this instruction we see a contingency. Some are going to be motivated by the fear of the Lord. Some are going to be motivated by compassion. It is wisdom that will assess the approach that is best suited for the situation. Jesus did not instruct the woman caught in adultery in the same manner as He instructed the Scribes and the Pharisees in Mathew 23. Both were in sin, but each situation required a different approach. Many people see Jesus’ clearing of the temple as an act of spontaneous rage, but if you read the account of John you see that Jesus first sat down and put together the whip that He was about to use. He was methodical in his approach. He was looking to make a point that would impress deeply in the minds of the people. 

     In order for men to act like men, it is wisdom that will carry the day over knee jerking emotional responses and banter. Wisdom commands respect from all people. Wisdom is about what we say and what we do not say. It is about what we do and what we do not do. Some of my favorite verses from Solomon are Proverbs 17:27-28, 

     “He who has knowledge spares his words and a man of understanding is of a calm spirit. Even a fool is counted wise when he holds his peace; when he shuts his lips, he is considered perceptive.” 

     These are some great verses. Even if you are not well prepared in the knowledge of a matter you can appear astute if you know when to keep your mouth shut. A man of knowledge spares his words. Talking too much makes talk cheap. Talking too much is a sign of weakness. It displays a lack of confidence; a need for acceptance. or a need to be the center of attention. A man of wisdom is of a calm spirit. James said, 

     “So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God.(James 1:19-20) 

     The message here is simple; make sure your brain is in gear before you pop the clutch on your mouth. A man of wisdom will always consider the effect of what he says and the effect of what he does not say as well as the effect of what he does or does not do. Every action or inaction sends a message, and timing is crucial. There is a classic text given by Solomon that was made into a popular song in the 1960’s. It holds true to form in every generation for the wise. It is from Ecclesiastes 3:1-8,

     To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven: A time to be born, And a time to die; A time to plant, And a time to pluck what is planted; A time to kill, And a time to heal; A time to break down, And a time to build up; A time to weep, And a time to laugh; A time to mourn, And a time to dance; A time to cast away stones, And a time to gather stones; A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing; A time to gain, And a time to lose; A time to keep, And a time to throw away; A time to tear, And a time to sew; A time to keep silence, And a time to speak; A time to love, And a time to hate; A time of war, And a time of peace.” 

     Timing is everything. Perceiving the right time and the cause and effect is crucial. Attaining such wisdom does not depend upon a certain level of education or upon age. Wisdom is readily attainable to all who seek it. Wisdom hinges on faith and prayer. James gives us a clear picture of attaining wisdom in James 1:5-8,

      “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.” 

     It is God and our faith in Him that will give us wisdom that is beyond those of this world. If you want wisdom, pray for it and continue to pray for it as the persistent widow did in Luke 18:1-8. While you are praying for wisdom, pray for love. Pray that God will give you the love to complete your wisdom into His glory. If you are to act like a man, you must pray like a man ought to pray.