When Paul was giving his farewell to the church at Corinth he told them in 1 Corinthians 16:13 to,  

“Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong.” (ESV) 

     I normally use the New King James version but they wimped out on this one so I had to go the English Standard Version. Paul made a politically incorrect statement here. The implication here is that being a man brings the expectation of strength. Paul used the Greek word “andridzomahee” which literally means “act like men”. This statement, along with the general consensus we see in the scriptures, does not fare well with the social/political venue of the day. I have heard many who will try to defend the scriptures by attempting to present it as a progressive book that ushered in the equality of women. They will take some scripture where Paul praises Phoebe for being a good servant of the church, usually using the Greek transliterated term deaconess because it sounds more like a church office, (Rom. 16:1-2) or where Paul reminds Timothy of his faith which first existed in his mother and grandmother (2 Tim. 1:5) and they will hammer them on the anvil of conjecture until Phoebe, Lois, and Eunice are the original Joyce Meyer or Joni Eareckson Tada trio and Paul comes out looking pretty equal opportunity. However, it was this same Paul who told Timothy that women were to be quiet and submissive and were not allowed to teach or to exercise authority over a man in 1 Tim. 2:11. It was Paul who instructed the Corinthian church that the wives were to be silent during the teaching and ask their husbands questions at home in 1 Cor. 14:34-35. Either Paul was schizophrenic or someone is getting off track with their imaginative conjectures. I’ll put my reputation on the latter.

     The point I want to bring about with this is not about what women’s roles are or are not. What I want to point out is the role of a man. What is taking place in the majority of the world’s societies today and in the stumbling churches is a spiritual emasculation. Boys are continually being told that they are to see themselves as being the same as girls. Since women cannot become men it only stands to reason that men must become more like women. Don’t see yourselves as being emotionally stronger men; admit that you are weak too. Don’t see yourselves as the hero and protector boys but as co-heroes and co-protectors. And certainly do not see yourself as the leader. It is an equal opportunity partnership. You are the same as a girl, sort of a girly-man. That is how you should see yourself. The result is a spiritual impotence where men cannot lead themselves or their homes or the church. Why? It is because they do not see themselves as being strong men but girly-men. When Peter wrote to the church he told the husbands how they were to dwell with their wives with understanding, giving honor to them as the weaker vessel (1 Peter 3:7).  As much as Satan may want us to believe that men and women are the same, we are not the same. We will always be different. The reason that many men suffer great frustration in understanding their wives is because they expect them to think like they think and that is not going to happen. There have been numerous studies as to the fact that men and women use different areas of the brain in the thinking process. Study after study shows that women are more inclined to let their emotions take precedence in decision making rather than logic as compared to a man. If a man does not see those differences he will not dwell with his wife with understanding. He will be impatient and frustrated.

     This same frustration occurs in men when they do not know the position and the relationship they should have with their children. There are many men who do not understand that they are the parent and they are to rule over the house and make the decisions. We often see situations where there are wars going on in the family. Children who do not get their way will pout, whine, backtalk, and disrespect their fathers, and the fathers seem clueless on how to handle it and how it got to be the way it is. The result is a lack of qualified church leaders because there are not many real men and a harvest of spoiled children who grow into adult church members and who are used to getting their way by acting like spoiled children.

     Exposing the problem is one thing but the correction takes a lot more teaching time. Each aspect of men acting like men, whether it is as a husband, father or Christian needs to have a longer closer look at each position, which we will look at in future articles. The one thing I want to leave you men with from this article is the basis for being the leader of your family. If you picture yourself as the domineering, the “Me man, you woman” type, you are doomed for failure. The picture a man must have is to be the hero of his family. The basis for being the hero is earning respect. I remember a line in an old movie where a superior officer was saying that what he wanted was for his men to give him respect. The retort from his companion was, “Respect is earned; it is not given.” Earning respect takes discipline, hard work, and unselfishness. Respect has to come before love can be complete. You cannot have true love without respect. You can have respect without love but you cannot have love without respect. If a man is going to achieve a glorious and loving relationship with his family he will have to first earn their respect.  Remember to:

“Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love” 

(1 Cor. 16:13-14 ESV).